I have been away for a while, working, creating artwork, and dealing with other everyday stuff. All of that came to a halt when I very recently was diagnosed with endometrial cancer. The system has worked for me and they found it early and have been pushing me through quickly in order to heal me.
Tomorrow I am having a complete hyterectomy. I’ve never had major surgery like that, but I know it will be okay. My oncologist/surgeon is wonderful and I have faith that all will go well. After that, I will be recovering for a while – approximately 8 weeks total. They say some people feel pretty good at 2-3 weeks, others don’t. I’ve just promised myself that I will take it easy and go at my own pace. Overdoing it isn’t an option.
There has been talk of chemo around July, and I will know more in the coming weeks. Apparently my body has decided that it’s a good idea to not only have one form of cancer cell, but to have a mix with a second, more lethal variety. I’ve heard from many already about how I shouldn’t do chemo and/or radiation and I should try natural remedies. I get it, I do, but according to my doctor, those aggressive cells will be in me even after we remove my lady parts and will resurface and kill me if I don’t take measures now.
Believe me, if I had a less aggressive form of cancer, I would try healthier options. As it is, I’m dealing with genetics and this same thing killed my great-grandmother. I don’t have cancer because I didn’t eat the right things or worked at an asbestos factory. I have a genetic mutation that wants to assassinate me in a slow and painful manner. I am fortunate that it appears that we caught this early. I am going to do what I need to do in order to kill off these cancer cells before they kill me. I will also eat, drink, and take supplements in a way that will support my overall physical well-being before, during, and after these procedures are done.
I have a wife and friends who are already doing research, comparing notes, and want to see me beat this disease. In fact, I have so much positive support from my local community, family, friends, and everyone I speak with, I can’t believe it. There has been a constant feeling in my throat lately that makes me feel like any situation or words can bring on tears. Not sad, “oh, poor me” tears, just tears. I do have some fear of the unknown and a glimmer of sadness every once in a while, but I firmly believe it is the overwhelmingly positive response I’ve received from everyone. The momentum has made me want to survive for myself and everyone else I know. The outpouring of love I’ve experienced is humbling and reminds me of all of the reasons I have to live.
While being prepped for a ct scan the other day I just found myself crying. No reason, it just happened. The guy inserting my iv thought he was hurting me. I kept saying “no”, but he clearly didn’t believe me. I cried for 15 minutes after I left and got to my car. There is no identifiable marker, my body just wanted for it to happen. Strange things happen when we are placed under stress and in unfamiliar situations. Try reading blogs and medical pages about an upcoming surgery you’re going to have to have and it will mess with you. The cold, hard reality that YOU have to be the one who undergoes procedures and be poked and prodded sets in. It isn’t easy, even with the best support system.
I finally feel as ready as I can be for tomorrow’s surgery, but yes, I do still think about the unknown factors and worry a bit. I also know what is waiting for me when I wake up and get moving again. People, projects, ideas, and lots of love and support will be there waiting for me. I am so fortunate and I will never take that for granted. I can do this. I will also be blogging here to give updates on what’s happening with me in the realm of cancer and everyday life. If you want to join me on the journey, please do. I also love hearing other people’s stories, if you want to share.
See you on the other side. xoxo, me